Well, this is my first blog and I’m so excited to finally have a place I can just talk about anything and everything. I’ve been wanting to start a blog for years now, but I never knew how and was too chicken until now frankly. I’m just afraid that this is going to fail, but I can’t let fear stop me from crossing off something off my bucket list. I think we let fear run our lives now-a-days, and it keeps us from experiencing life and really enjoying life anymore. I know it has for me. I have PTSD and bipolar manic depressive and generalized anxiety disorder. But it’s mainly the PTSD that keeps me from living my life anymore. My ex tried killing me several times because he would tell me that I wasn’t allowed to leave and he would never let me leave. Always told me he would let me go and wait until I dropped my guard and he would show up and drag me back just to show me I was never really free from him. One night it took me running from him 3 times before I finally got away from him and people thought I was nuts because I was trying not to be seen by anyone and finally I hide in the workout room and cops came storming in pissed and soon as they saw me they stopped dead in their tracks and all the anger was gone from their face and they just looked at me and started coaching me out of their and it took them 30 minutes and they sent officers out 3 times to look for my ex just to make sure he was gone. They found my car and my keys were in it, but my ex was gone. By then, I was in love with him and I couldn’t understand why he would treat me like that and I was scared to leave after a few times of him trying to kill me when I would try. Finally, he went to jail cause that night, but my dumbass went and dropped charges cause I felt bad. Cause I still loved him. He stopped hitting me after that, but he would scare me like he was going to and I would run into a popular place where there was plenty of people and I didn’t stay anywhere with him alone very long and I was never too far from people when I would be around him. I honestly don’t know why I stayed with him after all that. Wait yes I do. He would threaten my daughter, which she was at my mother’s house, and I couldn’t get my mom to move from that area and I just knew I had to keep them safe, until I could get her to move. So, I lived out my car until it blew up and then I stayed on my mom’s porch until she finally let me start staying with her. I had a drug problem then and I kept trying to get clean, but the drugs would keep winning and I didn’t have a good life at the time, so I never really tried to stay sober then. I had given up on life at that point. I never thought then that I’d be where I am now. I’m sober and have 2 jobs and I’m starting college for my bachelor’s for business tomorrow and I can’t wait to start. I owe it all to the Lord for sending me my soulmate at the worst time in my life and he wouldn’t give up on me and kept building me up and pushing me to do better in life. He believed in me when I done gave up on myself. He really cared showed me what love felt like. I know this probably wasn’t the best story to start out with, but it does explain just how much my fiancé has helped me and how much he loves me. He has had so much patience with me. And he hasn’t given up on me and he means the world to me. Right now, I’m supporting the both of us because his son lied and put him in jail and violated his probation. It’s so hard being away from him because I miss him so much! I can’t wait until he gets out and we can finally get married and start our lives together with no one interfering in our lives like they used to do. He’s such a good man that I never want to lose him. He’s my whole world and my soulmate. Anyways, I just wanted to write a little something about us on my first day of my blog. Sorry it’s a little darker than I wanted it to be, but I’m going to be writing about a little bit of everything about our lives and anything else I feel like writing about. Have a great day everyone!